She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Contro... in Athens airport."Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and. ”“Who cares about any old Russian ... I don’t. And I have a sudden urge to meet your Auntie.”And he kissed me on my nose and tossed me high and caught me on the way down. I squealed like a four year old and headed for my kart and airplane. The cart ... Oh No ... I left it on ... it won’t start. Time for ‘womanly wiles.’“My battery is dead ... my kart won’t go,” I batted my eyes and asked, nicely, “Would you carry my kart home in your pickup?”“What makes you think I have a pickup?”“You look like. I thought if I werebent over any more I would be able to see up my ass! Not able to move amuscle, a man with a tattoo gun started to work on my right butt cheek.He inscribed some words I did not understand: ?Propietas Magnus.? On theother cheek he created a barcode tattoo. The barcode was read by ascanner that beeped its acceptance of my entry. I assumed this was somekind of branding or property identification system. All of thepreparations had been very disturbing and embarrassing but had been. I politely asked each lady for her drinks order. Eyes were diverted, responses barely audible, and a certain "coldness" permeated the room. Leaving the room, to get the drinks organised, I heard the chattering resume, but nowhere did I hear any comment relating to the naked apparition they had just witnessed. Re-entering the room, again the silence. Each drink was accepted without eye contact, quietly, and with little, or no, enthusiasm. I then delivered each meal to the table, at which the.
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