She realized with a start that she had been standing in the hallway, lost in thought, while her Owner waited and she fought to collect herself. ?Calm ...own and concentrate, dammit,? she told herself. She dropped to her knees and crawled to the doorway of her Owner’s study and lowered her lips to the threshold and kissed it. She then waited there, lips to the floor and her hands flat against the floor on either side of her head until her Owner snapped her fingers, and then she crawled into the. I hugged her from behind but unlike other times I rubbed her thighs this time. I wanted to speak about what happened last night. So I teased her to make her talk about it.I kissed her cheeks and said, “I had a great sleep last night,” and moved my hands from her thighs to hips. I was holding her hips with two hands on each side. “I had a good sleep too,” she said innocently without any deeper meaning. I decided to leave the attempt to make her talk about it.“Ok, mom. Call me after you finish. I was so drugged, I just didn't know the difference. But this one early morning, I got up and used the toilet in the corner. Somewhere there was going to be a very happy orderly later that day because she had no mess from me to clean up.I have been remembering more and more every day but I can't let any of the nurses or attendants know this. If they find out, my meds will be increased and I will fade back into oblivion. So far I have been able to figure out that this is a state run institution. And if we don’t give him the opportunity I am afraid we will lose him to someone else who will. And there is California. You have been traveling a lot lately. Those transcontinental flights will wear anyone down.’ His ancient hand, sun blotched from seventy summers at Martha’s Vineyard, rested on the arm of his chair. I reached out and covered it with my own. ‘Thank you for talking to me, Jason. I will give serious thought to what you have–and haven’t said. I promise.’ After he left, I crossed.
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