"How have you been doing, the last couple of days?" ...Not bad, not great either," I reply. "I've talked a lot with Kayla,we've got a lot of things ou... in the open, we're in a good place now. Iwon't be needing the codeword again for a while, heh!" Good," Nikki giggles. "Kinda felt bad I couldn't 'rescue' you onMonday, heh. Luckily, you've got plenty of company today, hehe!" It's okay," I shrug. "Plenty of friends to keep me company today,hehe!" You can never have too many," Nikki giggles.. She said once in an email “one day we must do this for real” but it never happened. I set up a Worship site for Her but I don't think She ever visited. • Miss Christina I worshipped Her from afar but it was as close to personal worship as you could get. Over many years I sent Her 100s of worship sheets, mag covers and worship videos, with lots of cum tributes. I even pasted photos of Her into gang-bang and DP scenes as this was one of Her fantasies. She talked a lot about Her exhibitionist. That was not what we were here for. What surprised me was she didn’t really understand how things worked. She tried too hard, so that she made everybody nervous, including herself. She would have known by now that pretty means popular. That’s the way life works. But in the unit people would see her coming and disappear to play computer games or hide in the toilet. She wasn’t used to that. I didn’t hide. I really didn’t give a shit. That always work. People always like people that don’t give. I lie there for a bit, on my sofa, thinking. I get a sudden flash of inspiration, and reach for my pad and pen.I've been scratching out this particular poem for a while now; it's not coming very easily. Writing about my self-harm always seems to be much more of an effort than writing about my transsexuality, or my depression. It's difficult to get the words out, and there are special skills involved in the process.For instance: it is vital that you DO NOT read what you have written straight.
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