It seemed we were both driving ourselves crazy waiting for the other to leave us for someone ‘better,’ when it seemed neither of us had any intere...t in doing so. I started to write ‘Do you still see us together in 15 years?’ Then I crossed off the 15 and wrote in ’10.’ But as I was writing, I was thinking that I could be pretty sure what the answer would be: she would hope that we’d be together in 10 years and even longer. It felt like a golden opportunity had just fallen into my lap. I had. I was lost in her eyes, those deep whirlpools. When she said she wanted some fresh air I went outside with her. I can still taste that first kiss. It didn't seem shocking at all to kiss a woman. The only shocking thing was how normal it felt. She pushed me up against the wall and kissed me again. Her leg was between my own, her groin pressing against mine. I didn't want her lips to leave my mouth.Then two guys came out for a smoke. At first I think they assumed I was being kissed by a boy. It gave me a distraction. I always told them it was because I was scared of getting drunk, I had no wish to lose my faculties, but it offered a distraction from listening to them drone on and on. And because I liked to drive.By the time we would get home, they would stand in the kitchen, continuing their tales of grandeur and I would slide off to my room when they weren't paying attention. A couple times they caught me and asked me "Hey, where you going?" I'm tired." was the excuse I gave most. "The guy walked off, just a plain guy, like 35 years old. Nothing remarkable about him at all, except he'd just turned me into a whore. I had to think about that and suddenly my Coke didn't taste quite the same. My stomach grew tight and my nerves caught up with me. I shivered, like someone had just walked on my grave, and I dropped my half-finished soda in a garbage can, deciding I needed to sit down.The only place to do that was on the bus and part of me didn't want to get back on now. I.
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