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It felt good that a priest who dedicated his life to others needed me. But the other thing was that he asked that I kept his conversations confidentia.... I should have told him that I told you everything. But I didn’t. And I justified it of course – it was like the secret of the confessional. So I didn’t tell you anything. So gradually, I was cheating you by keeping it from you – long before any sex happened.”“But why?” I asked. “He was only a bloke asking you for support. What was so wrong that. It only took her two weeks to introduce herself. Her name was Caroline. I was a brash bold sort of person and in those days. The usual thing to do was ask a girl if she would like to go to the cinema.The classic film Gone With The Wind was on at the Odean. To my surprise, she readily accepted my invitation. We sat in the back row, munching popcorn and sipping a fizzy drink each. I do not remember very much about the film, my mind was on other things. I walked her home after the film had ended. Know that I am aware of your frustration and urges… and how badly they want to be fulfilled.And that because they can’t be, because you are choosing to let them torment you and build… that you are making yourself special to me.Remember that.Now, place my panties under your pillow. I want them right there for you… so you can find them and smell them whenever tempted.Enjoy staying locked up tight for me. Find satisfaction in not being able to touch yourself in any way.That cock of yours is my. It was simply left to you. Should pay off your credit card." He smiled at me.Fondly? Quiet heart. That way lies despair."I'm floundering. I'm sorry. I'm making things worse. Come on. Can you walk? Let's go somewhere warm. You're shivering and you don't look very special." He looked round. "We're not far from my house. We could go there."Forever, please and never leave you. Get a grip. This is your life and love you're fighting for. Don't think about it without him. If only I didn't feel so.
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