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So far, he had done nothing that he thought especially unusual or exciting for a woman.Up until that moment, Millie had never had sex with a man who e...en pretended to care about her pleasure. She didn't have sex for sexual pleasure. Her satisfaction came from feeling attractive, something that was reinforced by knowing that a man wanted her sexually. She really didn't think that sexual pleasure had much to do with sex. That was a much more private thing that she did for herself when no one was. I had finally run out of chances.Then the second blow hit, when my mom's health broke down. The stress ofhaving to do an awful job, and be the sole support in our household dueto my failings caught up to her, and she had a stroke.She survived, but her working days, and in fact her days of taking careof herself were over, forever.I talked my brother into setting her up in his basement, and for a whiletaking care of her gave me a reason to keep fighting. Well, her, and mydaughter, of course.Until. She started to reach out."Stop!" I shouted. She was startled and stopped what she was going to do. "Don't touch her, don't move her. That may be the worst thing you can do. Let me in there so I can check her out and see if we can move her" The rest of the crowd moved back. I knelt down by the small figure on the ground. I first felt her pulse. It was weak and slow. It should have been around 120 but was almost too weak for me to record. I found it at last and counted. It was as slow as my own. I tried to stop many times butalways came back to it. More about that later if you are interested.After College, I decided I had to stop dressing and did for over a year.I thought I had it beat and was no longer a crossdresser. I had a goodjob, was very confident as a man and met a wonderful woman. She was acouple of years older and certainly had more experience, because at 25 Istill had not had sex with a woman. I remember admitting it one night ther and she smiled and thought that was.
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