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So, I heard the phone ring and I just knew. I fell asleep thinking about what was going to happen tomorrow.The next day was one of the longest in my l...fe! I told Eddie that dad would pick us up after school and then I was going to have some time alone with him, just the two of us, until mom got home. Then we would all be together again, just like I remember from before. I did remember: I remembered dad coming home all smelling like chemicals, his face all gray and tired and then, once he had. The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too. The next minute was Lisa and her son scurrying and fumbling around the room, trying to get dressed as quickly as possible.Finally, Lisa opened the door. There stood Steven with a big nasty grin on his face. “Sorry, Lisa. But we need you.” When he saw Josh start for the door, Steven raised his hand to stop him. “Sorry, Bud, but this is work. You wait here. I got you covered.” With that, he gave her son a wink, which caused Lisa to glare even more at Steven. What did that mean?Lisa and Steven. I’ll take a Sex on The Beach.”Good Choice. “Why this shitty bar? No offense, but this is really a I am really not caring about the quality of my liquor right now type bar, and you are dressed in a I'll be damned if I drink some Belvedere while Puff got Cîroc outfit.”A pause, a laugh, and a sip later. “This is my work outfit, James. I work across the street, and if I’m getting off this late I’ll be damned if I’m not feeling what I’m sipping. But I will also be damned.” she says, with trailing.
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