” “That’s what I suspected,” he said, still not looking at me. Still surprised that he wasn’t certain what an impending orgasm felt like, I ...sked, “Joe, haven’t you ever masturbated?” Without an ounce of embarrassment, he said, “No, I never have, at least not consciously.” Even though his mom had suspected as much, it was still unbelievable to hear a him say he never masturbated, and I said, “Joe, you’re a healthy teenager, and I know you get aroused and have erections… don’t you ever do. To a large degree.It was hard for him to reconcile the fully grown adult woman he saw before him now with the little baby Speedy he had remembered from five years ago. They seemed like completely separate entities entirely.The Speedy he remembered was a little girl that used to playfully chase him around. He used to give piggy-back rides to her around the house whenever she would ask. They would play each other in "Go Fish," and he would simultaneously lose to her on purpose while she also. “I read the ‘Song of Solomon’ with tears running down my cheeks. I read that book from front to back several times. Each time, I felt like I understood the message in it a little better.“I wanted to understand it. I wanted to find someone who knew what it all meant and could explain some of the parts to me. I knew that was impossible. Talking about religion with another person was a crime, and it was virtually impossible to bribe one’s way out of it.“Months passed and I kept returning to that. " I...I...," Peter stammered as he thought about the girl he adoredconfirming that she thought he was effeminate."Looks, like I've got another girl to trade clothes with," Stephaniesaid to Jennifer."You got that right. I'm sure I can get him a job."Peter went to reply, but his mother interjected, "I hope you're right,dear. We really need the money."Peter put his head down. He knew that he had failed as a man. He knewthat he owed it to them to try to get the job. He had to be the man ofthe.
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