After a nap to recuperate, we headed out for dinner, talking about what we had been seeing. Dinner talk "Why do these white women come for Black guys?... Jaye asked. I offered that it seemed like this was a great place for an adventure -- away from home and moral strictures, a chance to try the forbidden. "Yeah, but what about the white married women?" I didn't have an answer there, beyond maybe that the adventure thing still held and maybe they weren't getting what they wanted at home. "But what. I'd stuffed him into the bottom drawer of my dresser. I pulled open the drawer tentatively and there was teddy staring at mewith expectant eyes and a wide grin. I found myself picking him updelicately and hugging him to my chest whispering "I'm sorry" into hisuncomprehending ears. The tears started again and it took me a fewminutes before I could compose myself and make my way back down thestairs. Teddy and I made our way into the kitchen and I announced, "Herehe is." And held him up for Mom. She hugged me tightly as I came. I closed the door behind me and kissed her forehead. It was the first time I ever hugged a girl and it was the most warmth and comfortable feeling I had ever experienced and I probably ever will. We hugged for a while, and then we sat on a sofa with her resting her head on my shoulders. I kissed her forehead and I couldn’t keep myself from kissing her cheeks. She looked at me for a while and then kissed me. It was a short kiss. Then I placed my hand on her neck. I don’t want to piss him off. But I really need a drink.As much as possible I tried to stay out of the way of the other guests. Every time I get near anyone I get groped roughly. It’s almost like all the men feel obligated.The couple with the kids left after about an hour. I found it hard to believe they’d bring their kids to a party like this. Thinking back, though, I realize no one else seemed to think it was anything unusual.I was just about to get another beer when Snake called me over. He.
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