“The girl would have been showing by the time we reached Calcutta, and no man, however keen for advancement, would marry a pregnant woman. She would...have had to return to England and be left on the dockside at Southampton, with no money, no family, and a bastard. Any one of them is a trigger for suicide and Constance had all three. Instead, I put her ashore in Cape Town with money enough to either abort the child or pay for a midwife. I contacted a woman there who I knew dealt with abandoned. And what was it about Lindsey that she kept bugging me like she did. Christ, I'd dumped her two years ago and I'd had relationships of sorts with Millie, Patricia and Michelle, not to mention Bev. But none of them had gotten under my skin as much as Lindsey had. The girl was the bane of my life; every time someone mentioned her damned name, I got this damned lump in my throat. I knew that I had to force myself to get over her somehowWhy the hell had I listened to Conway's wife. She'd convinced. I sometimes imagined myself as a sexy woman pleasing her man, and I had always been fascinated with women's clothing. I didn't really know what I was, but I knew I wouldn't be happy until I had tried a homosexual experience.The bar was in the part of town I didn't go much. It was dark and seedy inside and the few people that were there were watching the couple on the dance floor. I noticed someone looking at me. I smiled but he didn't change his expression. He motioned me over and we talked a. ..a bus load of people got on the train and usually i turn too face people so noone can bee behind me...but it was so packed that i didnt get a chance...so immediately i feel someone kinda too close...i didnt really over react because i didnt wanna bee that girl that bugs out on the train cuz she thinks someones tryin too touch her...so everything was good for a couple of minutes..until i feel the guy behind me swaying back n forth..at first i figured it was train making him sway..so i stayed.
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