She wasn't really interested in hanging out with me. She was basically looking for somebody to buy her drinks and take her home. Usually, when I wen... out with her, she'd meet the guys and they would have a friend for me. We always did what she wanted to do. She'd make me have sex with guys I didn't really want to have sex with. All because she liked their friends. She was really my only friend left who wasn't married. Most of my other friends, all married their boyfriends from high. ’ ‘A quote?’ ‘Something someone else once said, that was insightful. ‘Don’t cry becuase it’s over, smile because it happened.” ‘I don’t understand.’ ‘That’s because you’re not real.’ ‘He might never come again.’ ‘I don’t know if I want him to come again.’ A pause. ‘Are you happy?’ A long pause. ‘Yes. I have others. Friends. Family. Someone new.’ she smiles. ‘I’m happy.’ ‘But sad too.’ ‘Yes, sad too.’ ‘So why are you here?’ She thinks. Her legs relax, slowly moving away from her. Still on occasion I liked to visit my old haunts and would have her drive me there, and having her take us for a drink in some pretty crummy bars. I could see she wasn’t too comfortable in some places, she hated the crude language you would sometimes hear there. She never complained, always tried to put on a brave face and pretend she was enjoying herself. I knew she was doing it for me, it was just I could read her discomfort in her body English. I was starting to exert myself with her in. I was so pleased that everybodyhad turned up, I could barely hold back the tears of happiness. I juststammered out: "Hi, I am Anna." Once it had been confirmed the applausestarted.Nobody could believe that it was me. Some said that when I walked in theythought the whole thing was a monumental practical joke - that the emailwas a lie and I had hired a stripper to pose as me. But there was enoughof the old me there to dismiss that idea. Still, in another circumstance Iwish I would have.
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We settled on the mats facing the big TV, under the infra-red lamps I’d put in, with me on one side of the laptop, then Lettie and then Janie. Letti
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