She was lying in the middle of my bed with her arms over her eyes. I called her slowly, fearing a reaction to what had transpired last night, “Hello...baita (my child) aren’t you getting up for the breakfast”. “Yes papa, I am coming” she removed her arms from her eyes and replied confidently as nothing had happened last night, or may be she just pretended to be totally ignorant of the last night stand. Anyhow, she had breakfast with me, appreciated my cooking skill (although I only warmed the. I stepped into the shower and turned on the water making it very warm and steamy.I then stepped under the spray and ran my hands down my sides feeling the warm water run over my nipples and down my abdomen.I picked up the washcloth and got it very wet so I could make it soapy when used with the soap.I then had bubbles of soap coming from the washcloth and now I started rubbing it over my breasts.This made me hot and so I moved the washcloth down to my groin.I left my other hand running over my. I had been having it for more than a year already, and seemed no closer to resolving it then I ever had been.I knew this was a self contained conflict. I was battling with myself, and, with some of my recent decisions, like allowing her to come back to the farm, I was stacking the deck against myself. Realizing this, I felt ashamed of myself, because of the glaring lack of maturity and self control this decision had exposed in me. I knew I had too many people depending on me to be able to. ’ ‘I didn’t think you were, sir. You seem to find all the pits to fall in – call it bad luck?’ ‘I do like your intelligent approach.’ ‘Thank you. I like yours. I can relate to it ‘More so than the gutteral grunts of the butcher?’ ‘Yes or the resentful groans of his boy, sir.’ ‘Exactly – this is why I’m responding to you kindly. You seem very nice – special even.’ ‘You are kind, sir.’ ‘Thank you, Louisa. It’s a pleasure to be appreciated.’ ‘A shared one, sir.’ ‘Once in a while you meet someone.
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