Maybe I'll meet her this time."I rolled my eyes and sent Mrs. Snyder into paroxysms of laughter."I know," I said. "Californians."It was Californians, ...fter all, that had sent Britney Spears to the Senate three years ago, after Dianne Feinstein retired. The Democrat and the Republican vying for the open seat were both scandal-plagued nincompoops, and some of Ms. Spears' teenage fans — and what was she still doing with teenage fans, anyway, at the age of 37? — had started a write-in campaign.At. She walks around the table and stands me up and totally, totally french kisses me. By this time I'm absolutely shaking with... I don't know what, and she. is. interested. in all this. She says "You adorable, excitable boy. Calm, just calm down," smoothing my arms down. I'm shaking.She says "Why don't YOU take some pictures of me. That is if you're not too put off by my 'condition'." I'll shorten the story and say that I attempted to take pictures as she teased for the camera (my god what a. YOU know who you are. So I’m thinking of YOU. I fly out to see you in your country, state or city. We are in an elevator (or lift for my British folks!) going up to your apartment (or flat!) or an hotel room. You try to be a gentlemen, at first. But the excitement of having me in your reach, and the urge to be on top of me, or in me, is too damn strong.I glide along my slit and lightly pat, tap, and caress the triangle mound, still over my underwear, still teasing myself. You pin me against the. Tall, skinny and very uncoordinated. The kind of a boy that every one made jokes about in school. I wanted to date the more popular girls in the school, but none of them would be caught dead talking ? yet along dating ? the likes of me. Most of the girls who would talk to me were either homely, fat, or both. I was as shy as shy can be. Most of the girls who talked to me were equally shy. The conversations were always short. None of us had any people skills. Stereotypical nerds. And, like.
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