One evening after Chloe went off to bed Hazel, who had been drinking more than usual, said “Do you think she goes off early to have a wank”?I almo...t choked on my wine and we both collapsed in laughter. “I’m not sure I can cope with the idea of Chloe masturbating,” I said “I think she would do it in such a soul-less way.”“Yes, she doesn’t really do fun does she?”Now there was no relationship between Hazel and me, we were just flatmates. I had tried to get her to go out with me once, but she said. And the suspicious fire.“Gentlemen. Approach the bench.”Voices were raised.He said ... he said ... they said. Louder, louder. Seated at the plaintiffs bench they were loud enough to hurt my ears. A couple of bangs with the gavel ... and a couple more.The judge shouted, “Y’all shut up ... next mouth gets 30 days.”Instant silence.“There is no way I can refuse her suit. The handwritten signatures of the president and company counsel are unrefutable. Pay her!” He turned to the Clerk, “Judgement to. They're fine for cycling but that's it. Do youneed to wear pantyhose to work every day, and whatever else you wearunder those very tight trousers?"My mouth fell open and I just stared in horror at Kev. WTF?!? How did heknow? "No, I...I, no, I'm not...I'm..." I stuttered."Stand up Ray." I stood up, intending to walk out. I could get anotherjob. Probably. Maybe. "Undo your belt, Ray." I tried to look away fromKev who was now standing next to me but couldn't. He remained calm and,well,. ’ ‘I never thought I’d hear you advocating fresh air, Stan!’ grumbled Anne, though she had a slight smile on her face. ‘He’s probably right, though,’ Denise thought out loud. ‘I know. Well, even a stopped clock’s right twice a day!’ Anne answered, and the two ladies sniggered at Stan ‘I’m damned if I’m walking though. It looks freezing outside this morning! I’ll take my car,’ said Stan, ignoring the jibes which only got worse after that. When they entered Iorio’s Stan was surprised to be.
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