" She smiled "Tomorrow we are going to test it on a rat." Cool, do you think it will work?" I asked"I don't see why not, everything else we have tried...has been successful." She addedThis was definitely interesting news, if it worked I could complete the transition with out the risks of surgery.Monday evening Michelle came sailing through the door smiling. "Well girlfriend, Mr. Rat is now Miss Rat." The experiment worked?" I asked"Yup, tomorrow we are going to continue." she smiledI couldn't. As I slowly search through the books along the aisle, I'm moving gradually in her direction. I move closer, selecting a book now and then. She glances briefly in my direction. My hair is salt and pepper, a bit longer in the back. Day-old, well trimmed stubble. Inside she feels a tingle of chemical attraction to this complete stranger.Every few minutes I move closer. Soon I'm next to her, browsing and reading. With me so close, she notices my pleasant scent. The hairs on the back of her neck. “I’d like to stick as closely to her dream as possible”. I said. How about you ask us to sit with your k**s due to some sudden appointment. About an hour after you leave and the k**s are in bed asleep, call me on my cell phone and I’ll pretend there’s some problem at work. I’ll leave and you can come back a short time later and have at it.”“That’s as good a plan as any, I guess,” she said. “Now it just remains to decide when.”“Do you think Friday is too soon?”“No. Friday is great.”That night I. Guilt ridden, she wrote these words: I am a slave to the pain and taste, feel and touch of sex. I breathe humiliation being thrust upon me like a child being chastised. Will the Lord ever forgive me for this habitual transgression – this lust of the flesh? I feel as though I can’t shake it. Every time I think I want to let it go, I give in and give up and let the pain, not the dominant, act as my master. Will this internal struggle ever end for me? It calls out to me in the middle of the night.
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