I sat down on the bed and ran my fingers through his hair and caressed his cheeks. "It's okay dad, I know how much this has to hurt." He turned and lo...ked at me and I saw that his cheeks were tear-streaked and I felt so sorry for him."Jesus Sharon," he sobbed, "with Helen gone there's just nothing left to live for, no companionship, no sex ... nothing at all."He started sobbing again; his chest still heaving and I guess that my motherly instincts just took over. I turned off his light then. Even from himself. Just as I was making that connection, he was out of the bed and almost to the door."If you can wait an hour or so, I'll make you breakfast."He closed the door gently behind him. I curled up in that big bed alone and missed his warmth next to me. I refused to cry. I was tired of god damned crying. He was right to stop it, but that didn't mean I had to like it.How long had it been since I'd been with a man? Over a year, closer to two. But sleeping with Evan would be one big,. I had to finger myself to be able to sleep.I got out of bed and put a long t-shirt on and went downstairs. Brock was coming out of the kitchen. I gave him a push back into the kitchen.“What was that all about Jessica? I didn’t do anything to deserve that.”I just stood there for a minute looking at him. I know it wasn’t his fault but I had to blame someone.“What did you do? “ I said. “It’s not what you did Brock, it’s what your good for nothing friend didn’t do last night.”“Well, what did steve. “I’m not, but you don’t need to worry for at least three more days…” She replied looking down, embarrassed. “I counted the days.”“So you had it all planned,” I assumed in a mocking tone.She looked even more embarrassed… Then I felt her tense up in my arms.“There is something that you are not telling me…” I said, seriously. “You are with me now. You could tell me anything before and I would still be by your side, you know that already. Now more than ever.”Carol looked at me, her eyes still moist.
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