Within a couple of hours we befriended two guys who were sitting at the table next to ours. Their names were Milt and Stan, and they were in San Diego...for a business conference. Both were in their twenties, very handsome and muscular—and black.While we talked and joked, I carelessly let my skirt slide up until I was showing a lot of leg—the result of the margaritas I was drinking. When the bar closed, my husband Jeff suggested that we all go up to our room for a nightcap. Our new friends agreed. I was easy as hell marking you. He paused. And there was one class in February where I tried my damnedest to act like the world was ending, only when you were around. I tried to draw attention to myself, acting distraught. Did you happen to notice? As things turned out, I had noticed all of these things. Especially the day hed been completely out of his element. Id made the assumption, and I have no idea why, that his girlfriend had broken up with him. Slowly, I nodded. Good, he replied. Then. She really was as advertised... very nice, very shy, and very big... as she got off, she had on tight tight jeans which made her belly hang right over, with a shirt that barely covered... right away, I got the negotiation/money aspect out of the way... she agreed to spend the nite...Told her that I was just looking for a girlfriend/date type thing, no pressure, no expectations, just hang out and see what happens... that seemed to take the pressure off and loosen the mood.as we got to my place,. I might have been six years old when I realized I felt happier around girls and had more in common with them, from wanting to play with their toys to desiring to wear their clothes. The need never went away. I kept hoping that it would, but it never has. For a variety of reasons I have never seriously considered pursuing sexual reassignment surgery. My wrestler's build, for one. My family, for another. Now that my forties are almost here, I've just about persuaded myself that becoming a woman.
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