It was stupid, I now see, but at the time it made sense. Darling, let me make it plain, here and now. No matter what our economic circumstances in the...future; I am your wife, and will stand by you at all times, and we will raise our children together, with love.The idea of being economically comfortable, came from Mummy's fear for me, so once I was faced with your "final demand" proposal, to be with you and Isabella, or say goodbye; that was the switch that was thrown inside me. I had to. The sound of loud rushing water droplets in my shower stall gave me a soothing environment to think.No… there’s no way. I mean, I guess… There’s probably… Yeah, there’s got to be a way for me to...But, how the hell was I supposed to do it? My brother was in the stall behind me showering away probably relaxed as all hell with all the field trips he and Amalie took down to the spring alone, while I was stuck playing cards with Ma and Dad at the campsite. I was so jealous, so angry and so fucking. We’d come home from school and it would just be us for a few hours. Both of our parents (her dad, my mom) traveled a lot, so we often had the house to ourselves on the weekends. We’d throw parties, have friends over. For the most part we got along.Late one night following al party, she came into my room just as I was getting into bed and asked if she could sleep on the floor. A friend of hers had gotten wicked drunk, puked, and passed out in her bed. There were people sleeping on the couches. It's not like that in Africa, where if you are the wrong tribe, you just might die by machete. To be an American is something that happens inside your head. Once it is there, it isn't ever leaving. If you are an American, you know what I mean, especially if you weren't born an American. But if you are from somewhere else and don't live in America, I promise you, you will never get it, even if you are a European. So I don't have my citizenship papers yet, but in my head, I know. I can come back.
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